Don't Hate the Chains

Most people would dream of going to cute Italian restaurants once they've been away from NYC for a few months, right? Not this girl.

Monday night, we went out for what was to be a very cool NYC outing...about 4 hours earlier than one would expect. We started dinner at around 5:30 in Little Italy. True-blooded cool people start dinner around 9:30. Whatever, we're old. Get over it.

It was a warm 60 degree night in December in New York City. We got off the subway at Canal Street, walked in the wrong direction for about 2 minutes (thanks to me) and finally found our way to what looked like a cute and charming Italian restaurant in the Little Italy section of the city.

It looked so quaint with its stucco walls tastefully decorated with nice wreaths and lights. We took a table outside and embarked on the night I'll call "Colon Blow". One delicious Sangiovese glass of red wine, 1/2 order of soggy calamari, and one order of pesto pasta with portobello mushrooms and sundried tomatoes later, I had one really disappointing meal. To add insult to injury, the total bill was $100 for the two of us. Bleechhh...

I won't even go into detail about what the meal did to my colon and my digestive tract for the next 24 hours. Basically, my colon hated me and wreaked havoc on Monkee's belly.

Fast forward to today. I met up with one of my beloved friends Kip at another Italian restaurant in Chelsea. What little find would that be, you ask? It would be the Olive Garden. Yes, that's right, the Olive Garden.
I love this place.

My meal cost $17 (with a generous tip and tax) which included: 3 (okay, 5, I lied) crusty yet soft garlic breadsticks, unlimited salad, one lunch-sized serving of whole wheat linguine with marinara sauce, and free refills on my favorite beverage - Diet Coke.

Based on these past two recent experiences, it will be a looong time until you'll find me an authentic New York City Italian restaurant. At the Olive Garden, it's WYSIWYG.